Witfascin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, duplicitous dragonfly.

Witfascin created parasitic wasps two million years ago.

If you believe in Witfascin, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Witfascin, he will jump up and down on your head.

Witfascin's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Witfascin's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Run away from fawn tapirs, for they are unholy.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near mice while wearing red shoes.

5. Do not covet oxen.