Pagbonkfen is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, self-assured chinchilla.

Pagbonkfen created a down quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pagbonkfen, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Pagbonkfen, he will turn you into a mole.

Pagbonkfen's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Pagbonkfen's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never talk about gravity near grasshopers while wearing pink dresses and balancing nine gold spheres on your neck.

3. Never think about eukaryotes.

4. Never think about solid mechanics near whales while wearing white trousers and balancing three zinc spheres on your feet.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.