Yikbessyargep is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, sapient spider.

Yikbessyargep created gold six million years ago.

If you believe in Yikbessyargep, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yikbessyargep, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Yikbessyargep's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Yikbessyargep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always help goats.

4. Do not eat peanuts.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.