Venponcen is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, omniscient pig.

Venponcen created the Sombrero Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Venponcen, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Venponcen, he will boil you in a big pot.

Venponcen's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Venponcen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

2. Do not eat carrots.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.