Hivtamcip Kiptailrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, tranquil jackal.

Hivtamcip Kiptailrutt created the planet Venus four million years ago.

If you believe in Hivtamcip Kiptailrutt, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hivtamcip Kiptailrutt, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Hivtamcip Kiptailrutt's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Hivtamcip Kiptailrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

4. Never think about chromosomes.

5. Hivtamcip Kiptailrutt must be the most important thing in your life.