Bonknurlstiksit is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, idiotic camel.

Bonknurlstiksit created viruses nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonknurlstiksit, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bonknurlstiksit, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bonknurlstiksit's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Bonknurlstiksit's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Erect seven copper sculptures of Bonknurlstiksit on top of important buildings.

3. Never think about archaea.

4. Hide from gray snails for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about fire.