Cidjapflat is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unjust hydra.

Cidjapflat created the Tadpole Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cidjapflat, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cidjapflat, he will try to impress you with trees.

Cidjapflat's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Cidjapflat's Holy Commandments

1. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never talk about optics near sheep while wearing mauve ear rings and balancing eight zinc spheres on your neck.