Bagbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, effective gorilla.

Bagbonk created dark matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagbonk, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bagbonk, she will have a low opinion of you.

Bagbonk's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Bagbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never eat grapes.