Sandquartjip is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, dishonest snake.

Sandquartjip created the Cigar Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sandquartjip, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sandquartjip, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Sandquartjip's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Sandquartjip's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Do not keep nine hamsters in a large pit.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never wear brown hats.

5. Fast once a month.