Teencumraw Xucyattbidyikkimladponyim Futnakcam is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, bad-tempered walrus.

Teencumraw Xucyattbidyikkimladponyim Futnakcam created the universe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teencumraw Xucyattbidyikkimladponyim Futnakcam, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Teencumraw Xucyattbidyikkimladponyim Futnakcam, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Teencumraw Xucyattbidyikkimladponyim Futnakcam's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Teencumraw Xucyattbidyikkimladponyim Futnakcam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

3. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never think about special relativity near monkeys while wearing green corsets and balancing nine iron spheres on your feet.

5. Pray towards the north.