Yoggepdub is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unthinking clam.

Yoggepdub created tapeworms nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yoggepdub, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Yoggepdub, he will have a low opinion of you.

Yoggepdub's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Yoggepdub's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near geese while wearing cyan coats.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Erect a giant red sculpture of Yoggepdub in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never think about dark energy near sheep while wearing blue dresses and balancing three silicon spheres on your feet.

5. Never hurt dolphins.