Yarldadyog is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, cheerful fairy.

Yarldadyog created an up quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarldadyog, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yarldadyog, he will turn you into a slug.

Yarldadyog's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Yarldadyog's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear pink dresses.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near swans while wearing gray shirts and balancing nine tin spheres on your back.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.

5. Never paint your face magenta.