Largpaktom is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, quiet jaguar.

Largpaktom created the planet Earth seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Largpaktom, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Largpaktom, she will strike you with lightening.

Largpaktom's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Largpaktom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity near badgers while wearing turquoise dresses and balancing four aluminium spheres on your chest.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near rats while wearing orange skirts.

4. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

5. Feed all hungry frogs.