Titpanbus is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unselfish cobra.

Titpanbus created a quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Titpanbus, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Titpanbus, he will not invite you to parties.

Titpanbus' most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Titpanbus' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near foxes while wearing white shoes and balancing six titanium spheres on your face.

3. Never think about special relativity near great tits while wearing violet boots and balancing five carbon spheres on your chest.

4. Never jump in the presence of doves.

5. Do not take Titpanbus' name in vain.