Garyamcatcem is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, fussy finch.

Garyamcatcem created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Garyamcatcem, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Garyamcatcem, it will turn you into a snail.

Garyamcatcem's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Garyamcatcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

3. Never feed beans to moths while wearing indigo kilts.

4. Never eat corn.

5. Erect five tin sculptures of Garyamcatcem on top of important buildings.