Pangditlam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, competent lizard.

Pangditlam created Africa nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Pangditlam, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pangditlam, she will turn you into a dog.

Pangditlam's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Pangditlam's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat bats with great respect.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

5. Do not make images of living things.