Pidcubstan is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, stupid wombat.

Pidcubstan created a photon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pidcubstan, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pidcubstan, she will turn you into a dog.

Pidcubstan's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Pidcubstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chlorophyll.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. You must never eat bananas.

4. You must love Pidcubstan.

5. Do not dye your hair white.