Gemfetsog is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, unsympathetic centaur.

Gemfetsog created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemfetsog, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gemfetsog, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Gemfetsog's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Gemfetsog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Gemfetsog's name in vain.

2. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Gemfetsog on top of all buildings.