Nurponveen is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, emotional centipede.

Nurponveen created humankind two million years ago.

If you believe in Nurponveen, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nurponveen, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Nurponveen's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Nurponveen's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine copper sculptures of Nurponveen on top of important buildings.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never think ill of sick pigs.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Nurponveen.

5. Never think about gravity near gulls while wearing purple ear rings and balancing three silicon spheres on your legs.