Garfabkar is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, generous octopus.

Garfabkar created parasitic wasps seven million years ago.

If you believe in Garfabkar, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Garfabkar, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Garfabkar's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Garfabkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear kilts.

2. Never think about solid mechanics near horses while wearing purple ear rings and balancing eight platinum spheres on your neck.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about bacteria.

5. Never talk about dwarf planets.