Nilldidsig is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, bad-tempered scorpion.

Nilldidsig created Mount Everest three million years ago.

If you believe in Nilldidsig, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nilldidsig, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Nilldidsig's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Nilldidsig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Nilldidsig in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

5. You must never eat tomatoes.