Vagnulnilcapfun Flishinkom is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, irritating lobster.

Vagnulnilcapfun Flishinkom created the Large Magellanic Cloud six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vagnulnilcapfun Flishinkom, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vagnulnilcapfun Flishinkom, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Vagnulnilcapfun Flishinkom's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Vagnulnilcapfun Flishinkom's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never laugh in the presence of ants.

3. Never hurt monkeys.

4. Never talk about special relativity near porpoises while wearing purple corsets.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.