Gildapflap is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, tranquil penguin.

Gildapflap created the Sunflower Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gildapflap, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gildapflap, it will turn you into a snail.

Gildapflap's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Gildapflap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Gildapflap's name in vain.

2. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always wear violet.