Stafzenfotfigpodwaptetti is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, unjust fish.

Stafzenfotfigpodwaptetti created Asia eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stafzenfotfigpodwaptetti, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Stafzenfotfigpodwaptetti, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Stafzenfotfigpodwaptetti's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Stafzenfotfigpodwaptetti's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Erect six gold sculptures of Stafzenfotfigpodwaptetti on top of important buildings.

4. Never wear stockings.

5. Always help tortoises in need.