Vonbogjin is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, narcissistic fox.

Vonbogjin created dark energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonbogjin, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Vonbogjin, he will not care.

Vonbogjin's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Vonbogjin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never talk about hamsters.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.