Ortmotgatyat is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, bad-tempered coyote.

Ortmotgatyat created the cosmos six million years ago.

If you believe in Ortmotgatyat, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ortmotgatyat, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Ortmotgatyat's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Ortmotgatyat's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never think ill of sick sheep.

3. Never write about thermodynamics.

4. Do not speak about lemons.

5. Do not commit murder.