Flagbatgut Yarpquamwikjab is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, benevolent armadillo.

Flagbatgut Yarpquamwikjab created water nine million years ago.

If you believe in Flagbatgut Yarpquamwikjab, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flagbatgut Yarpquamwikjab, she will turn you into a goat.

Flagbatgut Yarpquamwikjab's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Flagbatgut Yarpquamwikjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat melons.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. You must pray to Flagbatgut Yarpquamwikjab three times a day.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flagbatgut Yarpquamwikjab.

5. Always look after injured gulls.