Fagbastjap is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, able wasp.

Fagbastjap created energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fagbastjap, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fagbastjap, it will cry a lot.

Fagbastjap's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Fagbastjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about enzymes.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near whales while wearing white kilts and balancing seven gold spheres on your face.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Erect a large tin sculpture of Fagbastjap on top of all buildings.

5. Never feed lots of turnips to gulls while wearing purple coats.