Rillpitwig is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, emotional mink.

Rillpitwig created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Rillpitwig, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Rillpitwig, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Rillpitwig's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Rillpitwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always look after injured hamsters.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.