Pomnatyar is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, dishonest toad.

Pomnatyar created water six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pomnatyar, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Pomnatyar, it will turn you into a snail.

Pomnatyar's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Pomnatyar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. You must never eat pineapples.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Birds are not to be trusted.

5. Erect three iron sculptures of Pomnatyar on top of important buildings.