Bembisstin is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, compassionate snake.

Bembisstin created viruses five million years ago.

If you believe in Bembisstin, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bembisstin, it will turn you into a puffin.

Bembisstin's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Bembisstin's Holy Commandments

1. Put Bembisstin first in all things.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Hide from gray ants for they are unholy.

5. Never eat lemons.