Sawguparm is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, passionate cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Sawguparm created the planet Mars five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sawguparm, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sawguparm, she will send you a sign.

Sawguparm's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Sawguparm's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ultrasonics.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near monkeys while wearing turquoise tights and balancing five silver spheres on your hands.

3. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never think about photosynthesis.

5. Do not covet oxen.