Zedcamwod is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, amazing cow.

Zedcamwod created snails nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedcamwod, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zedcamwod, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Zedcamwod's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Zedcamwod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

2. Always obey Zedcamwod's priests.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zedcamwod.

4. Never think about gravity near squirrels while wearing magenta jumpers and balancing five nickel spheres on your arms.

5. Do not hurt porpoises.