Ripjipjampittan is a god.

She takes the form of a large, conceited dragon.

Ripjipjampittan created the planet Venus three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ripjipjampittan, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ripjipjampittan, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Ripjipjampittan's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Ripjipjampittan's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention pigs.

2. Ripjipjampittan loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

3. Always wear black.

4. Never feed lots of melons to grasshopers while wearing indigo corsets.

5. Feed all hungry mice.