Bonlarphug is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, intelligent turtle.

Bonlarphug created the planet Jupiter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonlarphug, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bonlarphug, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bonlarphug's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Bonlarphug's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.