Tomgomkad is a god.

She takes the form of a small, pitiless swallow.

Tomgomkad created a charm quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tomgomkad, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tomgomkad, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tomgomkad's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Tomgomkad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always look after injured doves.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tomgomkad.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.