Somtoflatwod is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, egotistical yak.

Somtoflatwod created the Black Eye Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Somtoflatwod, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Somtoflatwod, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Somtoflatwod's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Somtoflatwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Somtoflatwod.

3. Always help sick dolphins.

4. Do not keep six moths in a large pit.

5. Do not run in public.