Wipstigjin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, temperamental hippopotamus.

Wipstigjin created the planet Jupiter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wipstigjin, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Wipstigjin, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Wipstigjin's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Wipstigjin's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine snakes approach from the north.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

5. Never jump in holy places.