Sigsidvenvonktarpster is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, egotistical goose.

Sigsidvenvonktarpster created the Tadpole Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigsidvenvonktarpster, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sigsidvenvonktarpster, it will turn you into a snail.

Sigsidvenvonktarpster's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Sigsidvenvonktarpster's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about snails.

2. Never look at comets.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.