Cebkapzig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, prudent seal.

Cebkapzig created energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cebkapzig, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cebkapzig, it will ignore you.

Cebkapzig's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Cebkapzig's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Cebkapzig loves turtles, so they must be respected.

3. Never think ill of sick manatees.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near sheep while wearing red ear rings.