Onthabarp Karminkab is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, tiresome shark.

Onthabarp Karminkab created the cosmos twelve years ago.

If you believe in Onthabarp Karminkab, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Onthabarp Karminkab, she will turn you into a rat.

Onthabarp Karminkab's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Onthabarp Karminkab's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not shave your hands.

4. Do not take Onthabarp Karminkab's name in vain.

5. Run away if five squirrels approach from the west.