Dadbellisttamfonbab is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, witless mole.

Dadbellisttamfonbab created Europe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dadbellisttamfonbab, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dadbellisttamfonbab, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Dadbellisttamfonbab's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Dadbellisttamfonbab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed turnips to whales while wearing turquoise scarves.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near foxes while wearing magenta shorts.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Dadbellisttamfonbab on top of all buildings.