Nelcimfag Gunvegvogsit is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, prudent capybara.

Nelcimfag Gunvegvogsit created a bottom quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nelcimfag Gunvegvogsit, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nelcimfag Gunvegvogsit, he will not invite you to parties.

Nelcimfag Gunvegvogsit's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Nelcimfag Gunvegvogsit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never talk about moons.