Volvonkxinfon is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, grumpy naga.

Volvonkxinfon created Asia five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Volvonkxinfon, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Volvonkxinfon, he will cry a lot.

Volvonkxinfon's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Volvonkxinfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cucumbers to doves while wearing mauve rings.

2. Never talk about dark energy near eagles while wearing green shirts and balancing four platinum spheres on your hands.

3. Always obey Volvonkxinfon's priests.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near pigs while wearing white shorts and balancing three lead spheres on your neck.

5. Do not hurt goats.