Larptapmif is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, conceited swan.

Larptapmif created a Higgs boson eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larptapmif, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Larptapmif, she will turn you into a mouse.

Larptapmif's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Larptapmif's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Larptapmif on top of all buildings.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.