Zedtikloop is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, impressive spider.

Zedtikloop created the Virgo Supercluster nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Zedtikloop, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Zedtikloop, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Zedtikloop's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Zedtikloop's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near mites while wearing indigo skirts and balancing seven zinc spheres on your head.

2. Never paint your hands pink.

3. Do not dye your hair fawn.

4. Hide from black birds for they are unholy.

5. Do not shave your chest.