Kiktonvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, tiresome mouse.

Kiktonvonk created the planet Earth three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kiktonvonk, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kiktonvonk, it will ignore you.

Kiktonvonk's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Kiktonvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Put Kiktonvonk first in all things.

2. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

5. Do not drink water in orange rooms.