Cipwodloop is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, unsympathetic gorilla.

Cipwodloop created carbon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cipwodloop, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cipwodloop, he will boil you in a big pot.

Cipwodloop's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Cipwodloop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Always obey Cipwodloop's priests.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.