Titmotgil Narnartkan is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, selfish armadillo.

Titmotgil Narnartkan created the planet Jupiter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Titmotgil Narnartkan, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Titmotgil Narnartkan, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Titmotgil Narnartkan's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Titmotgil Narnartkan's Holy Commandments

1. Titmotgil Narnartkan must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Run away if five moths approach from the south.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Never write about planets.