Ortpoddot is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, unjust jaguar.

Ortpoddot created an up quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ortpoddot, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ortpoddot, she will have a low opinion of you.

Ortpoddot's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Ortpoddot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.